The Last Act?

To those that still read this blog,

My pitiful attempts to re-start the blogging have thus far come to naught. Fundamentally, I just cannot motivate myself and to a great extent this lack of motivation springs from the fiddly nature of Blogger and the rubbish template/layout that I presently have. For some time I have been considering migrating to Wordpress or Tumblr but far more interesting things have cropped up, like eating and learning how to play mah jong. Thankfully a nerdlinger friend came to me with a blogging offer I was too lazy and ambivalent to refuse. So from now on this blog will continue here.

And once again for those who prefer links written out fully.

http://mevorama.com/wordpress/author/abidrahman/

As you can see, the layout is infinitely better, cleaner, higher, faster, stronger. Like a velvet panther. There are also a few other people writing things so I won't feel as compelled to update as frequently for my audience of 2 readers (that's what Google Analytics is telling me, to think I was hitting three figures a day at one point...sad face).

The entire archive of posts from this blog have been imported over to the new Wordpress platform so you can still read things from the past, which I have done recently and I have come to the realisation that...

1. I went blog crazy in November 2008 and its all been downhill since.
2. I really really really love football.
3. I really really really love lists.
4. I have made at least 6 attempts to blog again with subsequent failure.
5. I am not even half as funny as I like to think I am and twice as pretentious.

So that's it. Any and all new posts will be on the Wordpress blog, but I will keep this blog open so the more indolent amongst us can use this post as link to the new one (yes I am usually too lazy to bookmark new things as well). See you on the new page for the same old hackneyed attempts at being funny and my precious insights on football.

I remain your humble internet diarist,

AR

Very interesting reading

Taken from the Sporting Intelligence website, which is brilliant. 

Mind the drop: former Premier League clubs

Barnsley – last relegation 1998 (one season in EPL in one spell), now in Championship. Went into administration after EPL drop.

Bradford City – last relegation 2001 (two seasons in EPL in one spell), now in League Two. Went into administration after EPL drop.

Charlton Atheltic – last relegation 2007 (eight seasons in EPL in two spells), now in League One.

Coventry City – last relegation 2001 (nine seasons in EPL in one spell), now in Championship. Narrowly avoided administration in 2007.

Crystal Palace – last relegation 2005 (four seasons in EPL in four spells), now in Championship. Went into administration after 1999 EPL drop. And again in January 2010.

Derby County – last relegation 2008 (seven seasons in EPL in two spells), now in Championship.

Ipswich Town – last relegation 2002 (five seasons in EPL in two spells), now in Championship. Went into administration after 2002 EPL drop.

Leeds United – last relegation 2004 (12 seasons in EPL in one spell), now in League One. Went into administration after EPL drop.

Leicester City – last relegation 2004 (eight seasons in EPL in three spells), now in League One. Went into administration after 2002 EPL drop.

Middlesbrough – last relegation 2009 (14 seasons in EPL in three spells), now in Championship.

Newcastle United – last relegation 2009 (16 seasons in EPL in one spell), now in Championship.

Norwich City – last relegation 2005 (four seasons in EPL in two spells), now in League One.

Nottingham Forest - last relegation 1999 (five seasons in EPL in threes spell), now in Championship.

Oldham Athletic – last relegation 1994 (two seasons in EPL in one spell), now in League One. Went into administration after EPL drop.

QPR – last relegation 1996 (four seasons in EPL in one spell), now in Championship. Went into administration after EPL drop.

Reading – last relegation 2008 (two seasons in EPL in one spell), now in Championship.

Sheffield United – last relegation 2007 (three seasons in EPL in two spells), now in Championship.

Sheffield Wednesday – last relegation 2000 (eight seasons in EPL in one spell), now in Championship.

Southampton – last relegation 2005 (13 seasons in EPL in one spell), now in League One. Went into administration after EPL drop.

Swindon Town – last relegation 1994 (one season in EPL in one spell), now in League One. Went into administration twice after EPL drop.

Watford – last relegation 2007 (two seasons in EPL in two spells), now in Championship. Have been close to administration more than once.

West Bromwich Albion – last relegation 2009 (four seasons in EPL in three spells), now in Championship.

Wimbledon (now MK Dons) – last relegation 2000 (eight seasons in EPL in one spell). MK Dons now in League One. Went into administration after EPL drop.

The Big Pink

Yes I did think Brief History of Love was brilliant. However, it is a bit too fashionable to list it as one of my favourite albums of last year especially I went for The xx as well. When was a Best of...list ever about what one actually liked and not about what one wants others to think they liked within accepted socio-cultural paradigms of cool? Exactly. 

Isn't nature great?

From the BBC, a zebra puts it's head inside the mouth of a hippo. Brilliant. 

Why do I love Andrei Arshavin?

From hating something immensely to someone I love unconditionally. Why do I love him so? Because Andrei answers any and all questions sent to him by his fans, including questions about love, marriage, laughter and make-up....check out this weeks first question and answer....

Andrey, what do you think people need pain for?
Arshavin: For people not to forget that they are mere mortals. Some people say that suffering purifies the soul.

Genius. 

Why I hate Stoke City

From the Guardian...

Rory Delap took 19 long throws during Stoke City's goalless draw with Aston Villa on Saturday. This is one long throw every 4.7 minutes. Given that Delap takes on average between 20 and 30 seconds to wipe down, wind up and let go, this adds up to at least nine minutes spent watching a man do a long throw. It also represents up to half a kilometre of ball-throwing in one match by one man, surely some kind of record.

How exactly is that football? And how is he allowed to waste 9 bloody minutes? It's a disgrace. The faster we have a European Super League the better. 

The Best Story In Ages

While flying Ryanair, a man ate his winning €10,000 scratchcard because he couldn't wait until he landed to collect his winnings....and I for one am totally behind this man. If you have ever experienced or suffered the appalling service from Ryanair than you too would be eating lottery tickets in disgust.  

Liztomania! Top 10 of 2009

I am still struggling to motivate myself to blog, partly because I have been busy but mainly because I am extremely lazy. I suppose the lack of an audience is probably another mitigating factor. However, the lack of an audience never put off Thomas Chatterton or Van Gogh did it? Although they did both take their own lives. Let's not dwell on this.

So I have been terribly remiss in not listing my top albums of 2009. It's probably painfully obvious as my 2008 Top 10, betraying my slavish devotion to certain musical media sources (yes our tastes are shaped and spoon fed to us, stop kidding yourself that you 'discover' things organically) and also my preference for acts ignored by the hoi polloi and that don't sell more than 1000 copies. To spice things up and attempt to be as gimmicky as possible, I will link the albums with the city where I first heard them and will always associate them with. Gay.  

Local Natives - Gorilla Manor (Hong Kong)

Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix (Athens)

Real Estate - Real Estate (Ho Chi Minh City)

Flying Lotus - Los Angeles (Macau - yes it was released in 2008 but I only heard it in 2009)

The xx - The xx (London - possibly my number 1, this album is brilliant!) 

Raekwon - Cuban Linx 2 (Dhaka)

Passion Pit - Manners (Amsterdam)

Dan Deacon - Bromst (New York)

Fever Ray - Fever Ray (Berlin)

Fuck Buttons - Tarot Sport (Shanghai)

I also thought the Yeah Yeah Yeah's album was excellent. The jj and The Field album were both wicked but I haven't really listened to them after the initial burst of enthusiasm. Although, I was nonplussed by Animal Collective. I am starting to think that they are extremely overrated; not bad per se but not as good as everyone makes out. 

While I am at it, I may as well as list my top gigs of 2009, which to be brutally honest was shocking in terms of the quality and also the number. In fact, I am going to struggle to remember the gigs that I went to, and immediately only the Dan Deacon gig at the Bowery springs to mind as one that I can remember and one that I actually enjoyed. Of course I saw Depeche Mode in Berlin last summer and that was brilliant despite it being in a cathedral type stadium with bad acoustics. I remember seeing Familjen in Berlin which was all right. Um. I saw Pet Conspiracy (a Chinese band) and they were pretty good I guess. Ellen Allien DJ in Berlin. Jesus I am really struggling and 2010 has been pretty poor thus far having only seen OK Go (who are, lets be honest only interesting for their videos). Bah! 

 

The law is an ass

I probably spend far too much time on wikipedia than I should but I came across this article on Mr Loophole aka Nick Freeman. 

I love his justification of what he does.

"Morally, I can't [justify it], but ethically, I can.", "My job is to give my clients the best defence I can. That is the job of every defence lawyer. I can't pick and choose who I defend based on my opinion; that would mean I was judging them, and that would be a dereliction of my duty. If I repeatedly identify shortcomings in police procedures, then perhaps we will end up with better standards in policing and then we will all be safer on the roads because people will not take chances. Until then, it is my job to identify inadequate policing and procedures."

My particular favourites amongst his many celebrated cases include...

A motorcyclist was acquitted of a 132 mph speeding charge when Freeman quoted case law from 1922.

Andrew Flintoff - caught on camera doing 87mph (140km/h) in a temporary 50mph (80km/h) zone, Freeman pointed out that the prosecution notice was sent two days later than the law allows. Flintoff only had to turn up at Liverpool Magistrates Court to confirm his name, age and address to be completely let off.

Ronnie O'Sullivan - Freeman accused the magistrate of winking at a journalist. The magistrate replied: "Why would I wink at anybody? Do you think I'm gay or something?" Freeman subsequently had the trial stopped. At the retrial, the court accepted the explanation that O'Sullivan was "too depressed" to provide a urine sample. 

Genius.

John Terry. The Man. The Legend.

I absolutely love the John Terry scandal. Love it. Love it almost as much as I hate John Terry. Which is a lot. I love it because what he's done is so unbelievably brazen (cheating on his wife by sleeping with his best mates girlfriend, who lives next door) that he thought he could get away from it. I also love it as finally he will get his comeuppance for being the white trash fool he is. Let's elucidate his previous misdemeanours

- Cheating on his girlfriend then wife and mother of his kids with a succession of 'busty' lasses, including a Page 3 Model, a FHM High Street Honey, a pornstar and a 17 year old well endowed in the chest area. These girls definitely got to see Daddie's Sauce Daddy of Year's Sauce. Saucy. And there are more revelations to come!

- Relieving himself in beer glasses in nightclubs. Fights in nightclubs.

- Getting drunk and abusing American tourists stuck at Heathrow on 9/11

- Gambling almost £40,000 a month on the nags.

- Soliciting £10,000 in cash from people who wanted tours around Chelsea's training ground.

- Parking in disabled bays.

- Trying to whore the position of England captain by fleecing as many sponsors as possible

- Openly flirting with Manchester City to get a better contract at Chelsea. Serial badge kissing to re-emphasise he is Mr Chelsea.

- Taking the last penalty in the Champions League final so he can claim all the glory by 'winning the cup' for Chelsea even though he doesn't take penalties and wasn't supposed to.

- Getting Mourinho fired after he questioned his fitness.

- Mum gets arrested for shoplifting £800 worth of goods from Tesco and Marks & Spencers. Tesco is an England team sponsor. Terry earns £170,000 a week basic salary.

- Dad is caught dealing 'great gear' in an Essex toilet.

So hopefully all his chickens will come home to roost today when he is potentially going to be sacked as England captain (which is meaningless anyway as a role).

I also love the Terry scandal for sheer amount of stupid opinions people have offered. This from former manager Dave Bassett in the Guardian...

"The problem is John Terry's a wrong-un. He's masquerading as one of the chaps but he ain't because this shouldn't happen," the former Wimbledon and Sheffield United manager said. "Of course you have players misbehaving when they're married. But they aren't doing it to a team-mate's missus. That's off bounds.

"It sticks in the throat. There's an unwritten rule that you don't start messing with players' missuses. I've had players who have left their missus or had bits and pieces on the side but they've not gone off with a team-mate's bird. That's crossing a line and where it comes unstuck with Terry. I don't recollect it in all my years in football.

"The trouble with this is that it could become a problem in the dressing room. A lot of the England players will look at him in a different light."

So according to Dave, it is all right to be a philanderer, in fact it is quite manly after all, but not on your team mate! That's where Terry went wrong. And of course there have been countless more. This story will run and run and run...I can't get enough!